Parts are Not the Problem in EMDR Therapy

Parts work is all the rage in EMDR therapy and I really do believe that is a good thing.  However, the way that many EMDR therapists talk about parts is a little troubling.  Much of the talk in Facebook groups about parts unintentionally blames blocking parts for the client struggles in EMDR therapy and I’m afraid that that language is going to show up in EMDR sessions with clients. Almost from the perspective of “we need to work with that part to get it to step out of the way, so that I can do the work in the client’s nervous system that needs to be done so that the client can heal.”  That is not the purpose of parts work.  Parts exist for reasons and parts are not the problem.  Endlessly referring to them as problems isn’t going to help you befriend them.  If parts are blocking you from doing this work, those parts probably know what they are doing… and honestly… they have a much better view of the client’s internal world than you do.

The purpose of parts work isn’t to trick them into getting out of your way.  It’s to help coordinate the work that they are going to help facilitate in EMDR and other therapies.  Parts are not the problem.  They are a part of the client’s ecology.  We are the outsiders and we are walking around largely blind in the nervous system of a whole other person.  Absent help, we are going to misstep.  We need parts to help provide guidance.  We need parts to help provide consent.  We need to engage parts compassionately and not endlessly blame them, intentionally or unintentionally, for why the client isn’t healing in the very specific way and order that we want them to heal.  How would you feel if someone’s interaction with you was primarily to get you to get out of the way?  What would you do?  Parts are not the problem in EMDR therapy.  We need to be careful about how we talk about them, especially in front of our clients.  They are a lot of what has allowed the client to survive and I guarantee you that approaching them with openness and curiosity is better than coming at them with too heavy of an agenda.